Work work work work work work
I hit a rough patch recently. I had to work a lot… and when I say “a lot”, I mean A LOT. I built a new class, put together a website, started an email list, and planned workshops. On top of all that, I was very tired. But each time I would try to take a break, I couldn’t. I had too many things to finish. I’m a professional dog trainer, so this is what I do for a living. Not only does it put butter on my bread, it also buys the bread. Not working means no income, and I have four dogs to put through college. Working isn’t something I do just for fun, it’s a necessity.
In the end, I crashed. The mental exhaustion was too much. I ended up in bed for three days. I slept and felt guilty about not being productive. Which, in return, made me even more stressed, so then even more tired.
Now, I know what I should have done. I should have taken a break and unwound, but I just couldn’t. Each time I tried to do something else, I ended up thinking about work… and money. Since I never completely stopped working and all I did was think about what I had to do, I never really rested. My stress level was through the roof. I tried to meditate to solve that, but when it was time to actually do it, I always thought “I don’t have time today… I’ll do it tomorrow.” My house was a mess. My schedule was a mess. My mind was a mess.
If you are a dog trainer, or a self-employed person like me, you know what I’m talking about. Because we are constantly thinking about our task list, our clients, and our marketing campaigns, we never stop working. We’re always rehearsing our todo in our mind. The mental fatigue is real, and it takes its toll. We know we need to rest and stop working, but we just can’t. Each time we cross an item off our to-do list, we feel a big wave of R- until the pressure of being productive and paying our bills becomes too much again, then we need to cross another, even if it’s midnight on a Saturday night out. We run from one urgent task to another, always interrupted by more emergencies, client calls, and people needing us.
I knew I had to put a stop to that. I knew I needed to take a break, but I just couldn’t, because my mind was always going back to working. Forcing myself to stop wasn’t effective and I just ended up still overworked AND feeling guilty because I could not enjoy my time off.
So I decided to do what any sensible dog trainer would do… I put together a training plan to progressively stop working all the time!
Now, I’m a shaper. So this plan is a shaping plan with easy steps to implement. As with any good shaping plan, start at Step 1 and, once you feel comfortable doing it, move to Step 2 and so on. If you find yourself in a pickle, “drop your criteria”, so to speak, and go back one or two steps. Remember that setbacks are normal.
1. Tell your availability hours to your clients AND STICK TO IT
Let’s be honest, how many of us go to bed with our phones in our hands and, as soon as we wake up, check our messages and emails? You’re constantly on call. Constantly waiting for your clients to reach out, ready to answer. That’s BAD. Your clients might appreciate it, but realize that you are training them to expect a fast answer every time and trapping yourself to feel guilty when you can’t. Have you ever been on a date with your significant other and asked them to wait a second because you “really needed to take that call”? Is this really how you want to enjoy your precious time with your precious one? For me, the answer is no!
When I get a new client, I politely tell them my availability hours. They know that they can’t expect me to answer them after 6pm and during the weekend. Ask them not to call your number, but tell them they are free to write you an email whenever they want and that you’ll reply first thing the next morning or Monday. I don’t do it aggressively, I just inform them as if it were a normal thing–because it is!
Now I know what you’re going to say! “But what about the dogs! What if they need me? What about bite issues, children security, and all of that?”
Our line of work isn’t a peaceful one. People have strong emotions when it comes to their dogs or potential issues. There is the matter of public security. Sometimes, you are the only thing that stands between a bite problem and a one-way trip to the vet to permanently solve the issue. I know that. Emergencies are real. When you tell your clients about your hours of availability, explain that they can call you outside of those hours if they have an emergency. And explain what an emergency really is. You don’t need to be on the phone at 7am because Poodly-the-Poodle made a doo-doo on the bathroom rug–that’s not an emergency. A dog snapping a toddler because it crawled too close to her food dish is.
Clients generally have no problem with hours of availability. Knowing they can reach out in case of emergency makes them feel like I’m there, but they respect my time off. The same will be true for yours.
I’m pretty sure you are on-board with all I have just said. That is, until it’s time to actually do it… As a self-employed person, you agree with the concept, but when clients reach out, you still answer outside of their hours of availability. “Just this once”… But the exception soon becomes the norm and you end up with the same problem you were trying to avoid. I’m onto you!
It’s important to force yourself to respect your hours of availability. If you answer during the weekend, you are sending the message to your clients that even if you say you’re not available, actually you are. Even if you read their email, you need to stop yourself from answering. As time goes by, you’ll feel more and more comfortable with not looking at your emails and messages because you know your clients aren’t expecting an answer.
Push to the next step: When you’re feeling comfortable telling your hours of availability and aren’t checking your emails past that time.
Drop criteria: If you can’t resist answering. Try to reduce the hours of availability so it’s easier.
2. Set a maximum working hour
We all agree to have a time after which we don’t want to work anymore. The problem is… we have an irregular schedule. So we try to make it 6 on Monday, 7 on Tuesday, 10 on Wednesday (because we teach classes…), and so on. In the end, we still end up working late because we never respect our maximum working time. What time was it again today?
The constant change makes it hard to respect. So how to get past that difficulty? Set a maximum time that is the same, every day, every week. And when you see that time on your microwave clock (ha ha), stop working–for real.
So, how do you decide what your maximum time to stop working is when you have an irregular schedule? During your typical week, on the day you work the latest, at what time do you finish? Use that at your limit time for working. Decide, consciously, that you won’t work past that time. Set a very hard limit. Choose a time that makes sense and that you can actually respect. If it’s 10pm, it’s 10pm. It can be 5, 7 or 9. Make it realistic but be extremely strict about it. When it’s past your time, stop working.
(As I am writing this, I’m currently being very bad at my training plan because it’s past 8pm and I’m still working 😉 Hey, it’s a work in progress! I guess I’m not ready for Step 3, yet!)
Push to the next step : When you have respected your maximum hour for 2 weeks.
Drop criteria: If you find yourself not respecting your maximum hour. Try to set it later.
3. Write down what you need to do the next day, then don’t think about it
One of the problems with mental fatigue is that we are constantly rehearsing our task list in our head. We think about something that we need to do, like answering to Ms Beauchamp about her puppy biting, and we don’t want to forget it.
When you stop working, write down everything you have to do the next day–and I mean, everything. That way, you know you have a note somewhere. You are freeing your mind of all the tasks you need to accomplish. People are generally on board with this idea… but they rarely do it. They think that they either have too much or too little to write down. They know they’ll remember it the next day, so why waste time writing it down?
You write it down not to prevent you from forgetting, but to entrust your to-do with your tasks to free your mind of them. Instead of rehearsing your next day the whole evening in your head, you are free to think about other things, because there is no way you’ll forget even the tiniest bit. It’s all on paper now (or in your to-do software).
I also seek my notebook when I’m on break and find myself rehearsing a task I just remembered that I need to do. I prefer to take 5 minutes to write it down, rather than repeat it over and over in my head. I use a real notebook because then I don’t get distracted by all the work ready to be done on my computer. Of course, do whatever works for you.
Push to the next step: When you have trained yourself to write down your tasks and do it without having to remind yourself.
Drop criteria: If you have problems writing down your tasks, set an alarm on your phone.
4. Treat social or personal activities like an appointment with yourself
When you are with your clients, you don’t check your phone. You consider your time with them sacred and you respect that by not answering another client. Your mind is completely with them. You’re not thinking about your next appointment. You are with that person and their dog only.
When you’re taking a break, spending time with your loved ones or just enjoying a nice relaxing bath, remember that you are actually on an appointment with yourself. This moment is also sacred, between you and yourself, or you and your friends and family.
When I’m with my family, my friends or my significant other, I try to treat that time as I would treat any scheduled consultation with a client. No cell phone, no answering to other clients. It’s hard, I admit. Remember that it’s a work in progress. You don’t need to be perfect. If you find yourself looking at your phone during dinner, maybe try to only look thrice, then twice, only once, and then none at all.
Writing down what you have to do (point 3) for the next day or after your break will help you tremendously to feel good about putting work on hold for a special event.
Push to the next step: When you have successfully shaped yourself to stop looking at your cell phone without feeling so drawn to check it.
Drop criteria: If you feel like your phone is too attractive, try to leave it at home or in another room. More on that on Step 7. For example, I don’t bring my phone on dates with my boyfriend anymore. It’s just too tempting.
5. Have some “emergency only” time planned
I discovered that trick while talking to another dog trainer and I thought it was geeeeeeeeeeeeeeenius.
My friend works with heavy cases. She treats bites, separation anxiety and aggressivity between children and dogs. Things that could easily go sour if not treated immediately. Because she’s good, she gets tougher and tougher cases. Which adds up her emotional burden fast (it’s real! Good trainers actually gets punished for being good by having to deal with cases that are more and more complicated and more and more emotionally draining. Be aware of that! It’s ok to do easy cases once in a while. Just because you *can* help a dog doesn’t mean that you are on a mission to save them all, too. It’s ok to refer them to other trainers if you need a break). To avoid feeling always on-call, she decided to have a special time slot in her week for urgent matters. Should someone call her with a bite problem, she has her Saturday morning open for difficult cases. She can fit them in and help them in a timely manner. And if no one has a big emergency that week, she takes her Saturday morning off and enjoy it!
I mean, how amazing is that! Her solution is two-fold. Not only does she have time for her emergencies, instead of trying to move everything and everyone when they happen, but she also transforms that time into appointed time off if none happens!
It doesn’t need to be half a day. You can do two or three 2-hour blocks of emergency-only time. Do what works for your business and yourself.
Push to the next step: When you have planned and respected your emergency-only scheduled time for 3 weeks.
Drop criteria: If you can’t respect your emergency-only scheduled time, try to set a shorter time slot.
6. Have a set day off
Step number 6 is to have a set day off every week–the same day, every single week.
You need to take a break and it needs to be scheduled. It doesn’t have to be on Saturday or Sunday, since a lot of us work when people are off and available. Our prime time is usually weekends and evenings–that’s fine. I have a trainer friend who has her free day on Tuesday. Choose one that makes sense for your business. And block that time in your calendar forever.
Why can’t you change your day off depending on your clients’ needs each week? Because, let’s be honest here, if you change your day off every week, you’ll end up with no day off at all.
Girl, you need some stability! (This applies to boys too.)
Having a fixed day off also makes it easier for you to plan all of your non-work-related appointments without trying to squeeze them inbetween your appointments and running from place to place. Having a fixed day off gives you stability and peace of mind, and makes it easier to plan your life in the long term. Remember that it’s a sacred appointment that you are taking with yourself.
Plan your work around your day off, not your day off around your work.
Push to the next step: When you have planned and respected your day off for 2 weeks.
Drop criteria: If one day is too much, try to have a fixed half-day off each week.
7. Put your phone and computer in their crate
I’m pretty sure you are on board with everything I explained so far. But every evening, you catch yourself looking at your phone, working a little bit, tweaking your website. Like a dog with no off-switch, the more tired you are, the more busy you feel you need to be (that’s me 🙋 ).
If your phone and computer are too tempting… put them in their crate! Figuratively speaking, of course.
Set firm rules and stick to them. For example, I have a strict no-electronics-in-the-bedroom policy. Phones and computers are not allowed in my room. That way, my time in bed isn’t disrupted by me chatting on social media, which makes it easier to rest. And I actually wake up earlier or in better shape the next morning.
If you simply can’t do it, use a drastic solution. I know someone who, past his maximum working time, puts his cell phone and computer in his locked car. He knows he cannot resist temptation, so he found a solution.
Push to the next step: When you feel confident about leaving work after working hours! Congratulations, you just finished the training plan!
Drop criteria: Try shutting down your phone and computer after your maximum working hours, or lock them somewhere. The time it takes to take them out and turn them on should be enough to discourage you from working.
And when you hit a rough patch and you need to hustle:
8. Remember that it’s temporarily AND SET AN END DATE OR AN ENDING EVENT
Sometimes, life happens and you need to work more than usual. That’s fine. Just like me, recently. I had so much to do that I found myself working all the time. Give yourself permission to overwork for a little bit, BUT set a clear end date or end event before returning to normal. Otherwise, you’ll end up in hustle-mode all your life.
I decided that once I had my new online class done (Attention Games for Dogs: In the Streets) and my new website up and running (you’re on it), I would stop working so much and be stricter about my time off. Building a freebie to grow my email list, building more classes, preparing workshops… all of that is important, but I would be much more productive if I felt rested and ready to tackle them at maximum efficiency.
Now speaking of email list… You should definitely join mine 🙃. I don’t have anything shiny to offer you *yet* because I’m not working on that task right now, but you should still join to get free updates, news, and training tips 😜
Like all good shaping plans, this one needs to be adapted to your situation. If you find yourself struggling, think of what you can accomplish and don’t hesitate to break down the steps.
Be kind to yourself.
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